I've always kept an eye on all things Geordie since our FA Cup exploits of '72, so when I came across this in the papers recently, I thought 'Talking Bull'.
I'm a keen young businessman with a big interest in football. I've had a season ticket at Rushden & Diamonds for the past nine seasons, and I would very much like to buy Newcastle United.
If Mike Ashley wants to sell the club to me and I become chairman, I'd have no hesitation in appointing myself as manager.
I have valuable experience: I managed to win promotion from the Conference for my team, Rushden (on Football Manager 2009) despite odds of 40-1 making us favourites for relegation, and I signed players only on free transfers.
I appreciate and recognise the hard work Mike has put into Newcastle United FC - not to mention the £150 million he's reconciled to writing off by selling to a new owner.
Unfortunately, in my current financial status, I can't quite come up with the £100 million he's asking, but I'm willing to negotiate up to 15 cans of Strongbow cider and a Mars bar. Should Mike fail to find a willing buyer elsewhere, I stand ready to help out with the coaching if required.
The Village Idiot
Talking Bull exists to give Hereford United fans their say, so why not drop us a line with a joke, your views, opinions, ideas and letters for inclusion.
All profits are donated to Hereford United Football Club and TB intends to carry on fundraising, selling merchandise, releasing newsletters on-line, sponsoring matches, players etc, etc.
We look forward to receiving articles and content from contributors old and new.